Energy Vampires

You know who they are. Yes, they are out there and you probably have one in your circle. They are difficult to identify initially. They come in neat and attractive packages, beguiling and charismatic creatures that will charm their way into your space. They know exactly how to catch your attention—they talk about the things that you like, they are friendly and appear to be helpful, and they will even act helpless to draw your sympathy. They will use every trick in the book to get to you. And they will not let you go once you’ve let them in. They will feed on your energy and suck you dry.

I’m not talking about Gary Oldman’s Dracula or even Buffy’s Angel. I’m talking about real people who walk and talk like us, who can go out during the day without exploding under the heat of the sun. They could be your overbearing flat mate, your inconsolable needy friend, or your hypochondriac, exceedingly dramatic aunt. These people squander your time. They don’t respect your space or your schedule. They expect you to solve their problems and meet all of their needs. They text you at 3 in the morning and if you don’t respond, they will call you. They will bug you even if you tell them that you are busy or in the middle of a very difficult and important project. They think of you as their property. They make you feel guilty if you refuse them. They expect special treatment. They violate your needs. They are the center of the universe and you only exist because they need an audience. They are not interested in your stories and they will always pull the conversation back to themselves. They talk at you and not with you.

A friend pointed out recently that I seem to attract my fair share of bloodsuckers. I honestly don’t know exactly why I’ve become such a parasite magnet, but I have some theories about it. Maybe it’s the “Man for others” thing, the need to do good or to be a “buena persona.” I’m quite intuitive and I can smell them a mile away, warning bells ring in my head when I meet them, and yet I always open the door and let them in because I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. I get careless with my boundaries. And, worst, I get too lazy to put my shields up. I even once contemplated on making a career out of being the barrio’s emotional trashcan; people will dump their stuff on me anyway, so why not get paid for it. Pathetic. Thank God I took control of my life and stopped that plan even before it started.

Well, whatever the reasons are, I have to be more careful soon. All the energy sucking has taken a toll on my body. I always feel drained after talking to them. I even get a headache and a stomachache after a brief contact. Static fills my head and I go through my day in muddled confusion. Now I often rush to the bathroom to take a quick shower just to feel safe again. I don’t want their dregs clogging my system or their aura to stick on me or take over my being.

Sometimes I feel as if it would be a lot easier to protect myself from fictional vampires. I can stock up on garlic, wooden stakes, and holy water. But then, I realize, Nosferatu and company cannot enter your home unless you invite them in. That holds true with my vampire frenemies as well, right? I wouldn’t need crosses and silver tipped arrows dipped in dead man’s blood if they’re not around me. Besides–Goddammmit!!!–I am not a victim. I don’t have to roll over and let them trample all over me. I have the power to stop them from coming in and I can fight back. They are not the Borg and resistance is not futile.

So I’m drawing the line right now. I’m slamming the door on their faces. All the “I miss you,” “You are so talented, let me help you” texts and phone calls and emails will not convince me to open it again. Not a crack. I am not falling for that crap. They can call me a snob or a bitch and I will still not budge an inch. I am drawing a clear boundary around myself. And from now on, I will remember not to let stragglers in and will make it a point not to eat and drink in the land of the faerie.

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8 Responses to “Energy Vampires”

  1. ayaz Says:

    Spot on! Very well written.

    I don’t know why but I find it hard to just say ‘No’ to people. There are few people who catch the subtlest of clues you leave behind and quietly stop bugging you. But the bloodsuckers, they just don’t get it.

  2. magicpoppet Says:

    Thanks, Ayaz.

    I think the bloodsuckers don’t get it because they don’t listen. They only hear the sound of their own voice.

  3. ayaz Says:

    I can’t agree more. All this reminded me of a quote I keep thinking about, “The opposite of talking isn’t listening: It is waiting”. Heh. That really hits the nail in the head with respect to all this.

  4. magicpoppet Says:

    Hahaha. How true.

  5. mihaela Says:

    I have such a bloodsucker at work and I just can’t get rid of him. I even considered quiting my job because I can’t stand him enymore. He drains my energy out and after being arround him during the day I feel verry sick and verry sad. I can’t even think clearly. What can I do? Can somebody give me an advice?

  6. Jonny G. Says:

    This is really funny and I easily relate. I’ve finally put the brakes on all the energy drains and it feels so good…I say that the more I get myself in order, in peace, I get more and more allergic to toxicity.

    Stumbled on this looking for pics of Friedrich’s work, so thanks for the pic posting, too.

    • magicpoppet Says:

      Thanks, Jonny! I am more conscious about my energy now and I am more vigilant about protecting my space. A lot of people still try to drain me, some succeed (when I am too distracted or tired), but I have less energy suckers around me now. They will always be around, I think; at least I am more prepared to deal with them. Deflector shields up!!! ;)

      Thanks for passing through.

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