I hate Christmas

Yeah, that’s right. I am totally Grinching, but who cares.

I really hate Christmas. Why can’t I have a tantrum during this time of year? Why am I not allowed to lose my patience and why do I have to flash a close-up smile all day long to everyone I see. I’m frustrated, I’m unhappy, I’m stressed, I’m harassed, and I’m freaking tired of everything. So what if it’s Christmas. I don’t feel like celebrating.

Oh, please, don’t give me that look. Don’t even attempt to give me a lecture. I haven’t turned into Ebenezer Scrooge. I have friends, I wish people well, I have a life, and I go out and have fun. I just don’t don’t feel like roaring out in laughter, Ho-Ho-Ho-ing down the street, and infecting everyone with Yuletide cheer. Yeah, bad timing. Exactly. So you want me to just bear it and grin like an idiot because it’s Christmas? No way, José. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m impatient, and I’m annoyed. I’m not going to wait till January comes around before I express myself. My head will explode by then or—even nastier—I’ll pounce on an unsuspecting loved one during our Nth Christmas dinner because he didn’t hear me say, “Pass the catsup, please.” I prefer to bitch now, thank you very much.

Okay, maybe it’s really not Christmas I hate—it’s the fakeness that fills the air, the people who are, all of a sudden, religious, pious, generous, and smiley-smiley. See them in a couple of weeks and they’ll be back in their year-round grumpy, irreverent, and miserly groove. Puh-leez… and they tell me I’m Scrooge.

It’s the time to spread love and happiness and joy. I agree, but why can’t we just do that every single day of the year? Maybe we’d be more civilized and the world would be a better place to live in and we wouldn’t be so cranky and stressed and we wouldn’t need Christmas to be dutiful, respectful, charitable, and joyful. And, and, and…

Oh, yeah, that’s right. Why listen to petulant, immature, and politically incorrect me? Go ahead, go back to your last minute shopping and partying. I’ll just be here in my dark, little corner Grinching my time away.

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